Day 12 - Butterfly meditation - Cocoon (2003)

While mindfully walking very early in the morning, in my meditation I saw a blue butterfly flying around me. I saw one of those by the creek another day, during a dayout climbing down the rocks with my family. This blue butterfly vision was so poweful and brought me an incredible sense of freedom. Not very far from where I had this vision in my meditation, I found on the ground a beautiful gift: a cobalt blue butterfly wing.
what a surprise! what a sign!

This wing I found indeed was broken, but still carried in itself a message of my vision. You can fly while you still have wings, soon they will also vanish, so use them while you still have them. impermanence is everywhere. Life is too short to waste it worrying or getting stuck on your problems. Use your problems instead, dear, as wind power for your wings. Let them fly!!!

There are wonderful meditation guides on butterflies, all meaning undertanding the value of freedom and transformation. In different stages, we are following our metamorphosis, hoping to fly free from our cocoons and catterpillar stages, crawling, stinging and devouring leaves, catterfillar suffers a lot. The dream of a butterfly is about liberation, flying free, drinking the sweet flower nectar with a delicate straw, teh god's cake! Time is our best friend in this transformation.
We just need to follow our heart, our instincts and intuition, find our cocoon. Have a clear vision, mindfulness, and be free from worries is number one step to crawl in a safe space of meditation and there we find our cocoon.
I chose to listen and dance Jack Johnson's Cocoon, as it brings the sad feeling we have when we have to let things go, even our broken hearts, our past, our confusion..., time to departure from sadness..., and be back to simplicity, and to know what we need, so little in fact as freedom.

I invite everybody to imagine this cozy cocoon that can free ourselves from our suffering, and help to transform us into a butterfly, let our wings guide each one of us through our innermost and amazing transformation.
enjoy these cocoons we have...

"Cocoon"

based on your smile
i’m betting all of this might be over soon
but you’re bound to win
because if i’m betting against you, i think i’d rather lose
but this is all that i have, so please
take what’s left of this heart, and use
please use only what you really need
you know i only have so little, so please
mend your broken heart and leave
i know it’s not your style
and i can tell by the way that you move it’s real real soon
but i’m on your side
and i don’t want to be your regret, i’d rather be your cocoon
but this is all that you have, so please
let me take what’s left of your heart, and i will use
i swear i’ll use only what i need
i know you only have so little, so please
let me mend my broken heart
you said this was all you have
and it’s all i need
but blah blah blah
because it fell apart
i guess it’s all you knew
and all i had
but now we have
only confused hearts
i guess all we have
is really all we need
so please
let’s take these broken hearts, and use
let’s use only what we really need
you know we only have so little, so please
take these broken hearts and leave

Day 11 - Full Moon meditation - Look up (2010)

Wherever you are in the world,
my friend,
if you have a chance to sit and give yourself 20 minutes to look up at the sky at night and gaze the silver rays from the moon and try to meditate on the beauty of life, on the rise of this miracle. This beautiful full moon entering the sign of Leo, so auspicious, so belle, can help us to alleviate the source of suffering and activate our pineal gland to bring us new sources of balance in our body and mind! Jack Johnson's Look up is a beautiful song that invite us to walk with the moon light.

to walk we need Food, as  we consume, is converted into 2 parts – mind energy and prana. The mind energy is centered in the pineal gland area from which vital electricl signals and hormones get secreted.
The full moon enters this gland to take control of all our activities from night till the time we wake up. The rays of the moon affect human beings, animals, plants, water, as our body consists of 60% water. So, the full moon meditation helps the seekers in going inward, transcend the mind, and feel the divinity within.

Let's enjoy a moment looking up at the sky, walking on our street, in our backyard or our window bathing our bodies with the light of the full moon...

Look up!!!

 "When I Look Up"

When I look up at the stars
As I walk in the night
Down the street by my house
It feels good

When I look up at the stars
As I walk in the night
Down the street by my house
It feels good

The light from the moon
Is afraid of the ground
So it falls behind spaces
And hides behind clouds

When I look up at the clouds
As they move through the night
With the wind
As I walk down the street

The light from the moon
Is afraid of the ground
So I step on the shadows
Of my own feet

Day 10 - Dream yoga - Dreams be Dreams (2003)

We sleep at least 1/3 of our life, so we think, what do we do with the 2/3's left?  When we are awake,  we are busy with things and the stream of activities, feeling important but dizzy, foggy and lost amidst the sun be shining outside on top of our heads. Some days, when we get so lost, we need a roadmap to helps to go safely in life, look for a vision or a sign that says "come this way, you are following your dreams, girl!".   Can we follow our dreams, really if we are barely aware of them? where do we find inspiration and insights in our life? I know We can find some of the answers in our dreams while sleeping. 

Today is one of those days when an answer came to me, I woke up and felt a message was sent to me in my dreams.
I can't reveal them in public yet, but I told Andrew about them, who will keep a file of them in his wonderful HD...
Meditation and dreams, what does it have to do with each other?

 In my life, since I was little, vivid dreams while sleeping have been my way of healing. I know that sleeping well is fundamental if we want to have a healthy life, and a long life too. Vivid and lucid dreams are like jewels in the crown of our sleep time, precious gems in my collection of signs and insights in the path of enlightment.

 There is a study made by B. Allan Wallace from the Santa Barbara Institute for Consciousness Studies that shows the importance of lucid dreams in meditatio:
"In Tibetan Buddhism, the practice of dream yoga is pursued within the larger context of seeking to understand the mind and the true, inner causes of both suffering and genuine happiness. The overall structure of Buddhist theory and practice is the Four Noble Truths: (1) recognizing the reality of suffering, (2) eliminating the fundamental,
internal causes of suffering, which are identified as craving, hostility, and delusion, (3)
realizing the possibility of the cessation of suffering and its source, and (4) following the
path of spiritual purification and transformation that results in such freedom. ' 


So dreams have been used as part of yoga for healing and undertanding of consciousness for a long time in Tibet and other places, like India and China. 
One can recognize the dream state for what it is while dreaming, and  learn how to stabilize the mind and sustain lucidity, and this opens up many possibilities for exploring the dream state. If dreams are seen as sources of spiritual direction they are to be interpreted and followed

Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche wrote a book in 2002 about meditation and dream yoga, and find in dreams source for enlightment, if reality is embedded in dream-like nature, and dreams have keys for undertanding counsciouness... “wake up” in your dreams as a way to learn to “wake up” while awake, from the dream of life.

May our meditation be on our dreams. Jack Johnson has a song from  On and On (2003) album that is sweet about making our dreams not be only dreams. Our life is a dream, and we can transfrom our dreams into our enlightment.

"Dreams be Dreams"

she’s just waiting for the summertime
when the weather’s fine
and she could hitch a ride out of town
and so far away
from that low down, good for nothing
mistake making fool with excuses like
“baby that was a long time ago”
but that’s just a euphemism
if you want the truth he was out of control
but a short time is a long time
when your mind just won’t let it go
well summer came along and then it was gone
and so was she but not from him
because he followed her just to let her know
her dreams are dreams
all this living is so much harder that it seems
but girl don’t let your dreams be dreams
you know this living is not so hard as it seems
don’t let your dreams be dreams …

Day 9 - Right Diligence - At or with me (2010)

When I first listened to this Jack Jonhson's song from To the Sea (2010) album, I laughed so hard and felt this lively, silly and perfect song was a portray for what life has brought to me. If you see the youtube video of JJ fighting against Andy Samberg from Saturday Night Show, it is hillarious. "The mellow guy" (as Samberg calls Jack Johnson in his show and in the video) finally decides he has had too much and lets the fists fly: awesome fight between the two, featuring lots of smashed glass and broken furniture. This is a battle for survival, a metaphor of  life, when we are fighting for a space under the sun, to be recognized and fit in.

I heard from a person in academia that the academic world is cruel, a battle for recognition in the field we think or other thinks we are experts. Sometimes we can't fit in, but we try hard, we try until we win our first battle, then we believe, yeahh we can fit in. But stop a second and ask this reflective  questions: Can this battle field bring joy, and still be good for one's body and soul at this point in our mid-career life, after all...?

If yes is the answer, great, keep on the kick boxing and kangoroos movements, otherwise, if the answer is no, then better stop the useless fight that goes around and around the ring, and become the free-bark (Day 8)!  In another word, it is worthy battling if that still makes you tick inside, unless you are happy, or had enough punches and feel your body is not so healthy either, then it is time to leave it.

Being aware of what is good for oneself, what brings us joy, that is about right diligence.

If we run around the clock for fame, money, or recognition, that is, for sure, not right diligence.
Do what makes us feel happy and work on things that call our deepest interest. Somehow find the balance on what bring us joy in our work, while bring us close to our family and loved ones, that is right diligence.

So let's meditate on the steps we shall take in the path of joy, beauty and wisdom... Enjoy this funny song that inspired me to take things less seriously but with right diligence: I love kickboxing movements and dance wildly .

"At Or With Me"

Are they laughing at or with me
Ah baby those are such great shoes
And I think that I’m so happy now
And I think this is a better you

Are they laughing at or with me
Why can’t we just say what we mean

People are just trying to fit in
But is there something telling you
You can’t trust anyone in this town
Ah baby those are such great shoes

Are they laughing at or with me
Why can’t we just say what we mean

Don’t put your money where your mouth is baby
We don’t want to see you choke
Nobody’s joking around here anymore
Nobody’s broken any high scores
No dancing shoes have touched these dusty floors
For such a long long time
For such a long time

Are they laughing at or with me
Why can’t we just say what we mean

Day 8 - Attachment-free bark - Breakdown (2005)

Hello my friends,

I could not write nor dance yesterday because my routine was interrupted by the fact that my younger stepson had a surgery and all the efforts were to care for my family, and at the end of the day I went to bed earlier.  Today I realized that even for my meditation, I can't be attached to a rigid routine. I am going through some changes, and attachment is something I am working on on my meditation practice.

Sometimes we walk in circles in life, attached to our routine, our fears of loosing our material stability, or attached to our energy habits, our fear of loosing friends and family,  and to unwholesome feelings and thoughts.

I am feeling that today my meditation is on attachment-free mind and body in order to get insights on which decisions to make to breakdown this moment, be free and initiate this new path.

Where we live there is a creek with crystal clear water and a small waterfall, and some pools and rapids surrounded by lush vegetation and rocks, a small sanctuary. Every Sunday, loads of people come to bathe and enjoy this beautiful scenery right down my backyard. I wish I could be there everyday to drink from the peace and beauty this place brings.

In the middle of this morning, I sat quietly on a rock, with my feet touching the  cold water in a small rapid with little swhirlpool.
Meditating on the body, feeling relaxed, the sun spreading its heat on my skin, face, torso, arms, legs and feet. Breathing calmly, felt the fresh early morning air  circulating in my lungs being pushed into my veins and spreading its energy through my whole body. From my hair to my toes...

Before ending the meditation, I observed the river, and had small insights with a tree bark trapped by a swhirlpool.
Free bark, free!
There was a small tree bark on the river floating and going in circles, round and round inside a gentle swhirlpool.  Floating, and trying to continue its jouney downstream, this bark was too light to fight against this countercurrent.

Sometimes life is like that. We want to move on with our lives, but what happens instead is that we are going in circles, carried by invisible barriers. How can we overcome this roundabout?

I was not sure how long this bark was enjoying the going in circles, but I decided to help, maybe it is time to give it a hand. I created a space in the water that broke the counter current and momentarily the swhirlpool was open and the bark floated downstream by a small water tunnel, until another counter current forced it to move towards the rocks, the path of lowest velocity, then there the bark gazed its past experience and future journey, as ifit had to stop, surrender and contemplate its bark life.
In few seconds of contemplation, it surrended to the path of least resistance and floated away into the strong currents downstream towards the waterfall.
This small movement  of stopping and gazing is a metaphor of our lives, we all need an external hand to help us when we need to decide to stop and break down our vicious circles, leaving behind our fears and gaze the possibilites in our present moment. Without this hand, a pause and surrender it is hard to leave behind our past, let things go and just float with downstream currents of our destiny...

Another meditation on my perception changed then on countercurrents and barriers: the cause of one my sufferings, holding me back. The cause of my suffering is that I used to see that I had something I lost. My suffering is to loose people and things, all the old train that gives me stability...
If I want to leave behind this suffering swhirlpool of attachments, I need to change my perception on grasping things. Instead, I realized that if nothing belongs to me, they are only sharing time with me, therefore I have no need to fear loosing what is not mine. if the bark has nothing attached to it, to breakdown the currents and floate away is natural.
Can we  try to be a free bark?

Let's hold this moment in our hands and dance breakdown...
floating with and like a river...



 "Breakdown"

I hope this old train breaks down then I could take a walk around 

See what there is to see, time is just a melody 

With all the people in the street walking fast as their feet 

Can take them, I just roll through town 

And though my window’s got a view, well the frame I’m looking through 

Seems to have no concern for now 

So for now I 


I need this here old train to breakdown 

Oh please just let me please just breakdown 


Well this engine screams out loud, centipede going to crawl westbound 

So I don’t even make a sound cause it’s going to sting me when I leave this town 

And all the people in the street that I’ll never get to meet 

If these tracks don’t bend somehow 

And I got no time that I got to get to where I don’t need to be 

So I 


I need this here old train to breakdown 

Oh please just let me please just breakdown 


I want to break on down 

But I can’t stop now 

Let me break on down 


But you can’t stop nothing if you got no control 

Of the thoughts in your mind that you kept and you know 

That you don’t know nothing but you don’t need to know 

The wisdom’s in the trees not the glass windows 

You can’t stop wishing if you don’t let go 

Of the things that you find and you lose and you know 

You keep on rolling, put the moment on hold 

Because the frame’s too bright, so put the blinds down low 


I need this here old train to breakdown 

Oh please just let me please just breakdown 


I got to break on down 

But I can’t stop now 


Day 7 - Right Speech, Singing and Silence - Lullaby (Curious George, 2006)

Good evening, dear friend,

it has been a week since I started this blog, walking through healing and love path, dancing with Jack Johnson. Namaste for keeping up with me.

Here's sharing one more meditation with you.  it is dark outside, the crescent moon is bright and stars are calling me to sleep and dream. But while everybody sleeps in the house, I am here writing this post. Then I will go to bed.This meditation asks for a story, a bedside story.

Let's start with a story from my childhood, as it helps me to unleash some of the wisdow from my ancestors. As I had the priviledge to have my grandmother living with us since I was born, I will tell a story of her and how she took care of me and my sibblings while my parents have to work...
I grew up listening to her lullabies.
When I was about 7,  she used to ask me to help her drying up some of the dishes she was washing after lunch. Sometimes I was happy doing it, but one day she noticed I was looking a bit concern, lost on and absorbed by my own thoughts, distant and distracted.
While she was washing the pans, she asked me if I would be interested to sing along with the washing noises. I said that I did not know many songs, so she asked me to invent a lullaby.
By asking me to invent something new, i had to listen  to the sounds she was doing, and to be present. I had to silence the stream of thoughts inside, and let the words out in poetic sound, sweet and funny lullabies were created while cleaning the dishes. Then she said that if I was concern with something, trying to resolve a conflict, or just sad, I could try to sing a lullaby with newly created poems, and I would feel much happier.
From day on, I realized that singing was a great way to heal my suffering, be present and send sad thoughts away...
I felt much better.

Until today, while I sing on the spot, inventing songs and poems, for my kids before they go to bed, or with my husband during a jam session, I feel renovated and much happier afterwards. Unleash the mindfulness speech inside of me. My grandmother was so wise.

But to feel indeed renovated, rejuvenated and healed, one needs to practice silence, non-words. Silence helps us to slow down and listen to each note of the bird singing, the sound of wind blows through the trees, our own mind and speech.
My grandmother used to be silent for many hours, while she was making crochet doles. That was her sitting meditation, she was always so calm while doing it. I used to immitate her, and learnt to sit for long steady hours making crochet dresses for my dols.
Non thinking...., at all.


in my meditation today, I will sing my lullaby and dance with the silence of my crochet making, songs sung by birds and trees. Let's be silent for 5 minutes everyday and replinesh our beings...
aloha e




"Lullaby (Feat. Matt Costa)"

When you’re so lonely lying in bed
Night’s closed it’s eyes but you can’t rest your head
Everyone’s sleeping all through the house
You wish you could dream but forgot to somehow
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby to yourself
And if you are waiting, waiting for me
Know I’ll be home soon darling I guarantee
I’ll be home Sunday just in one week
Dry up your tears if you start to weep
And sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Lullaby, I’m not nearby
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Don’t you cry, no don’t you cry
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Cause when I arrive dear it won’t be that long
No it won’t seem like anytime that I’ve been gone
It ain’t the first time it won’t be the last
Won’t you remember these words to help the time pass
So when you’re so lonely lying in bed
Night’s closed it’s eyes but you can’t rest your head
Everyone’s sleeping all through the house
You wish you could dream but forgot to somehow
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby to yourself
Sing this lullaby, sing this lullaby
Sing this lullaby to yourself

Day 6 - Right Speech and compassionate listening - Flake - Brushfire Fairytale (2001)

Dear friend,
you might be wondering where is the dance? Too much writing, no dancing?
Nope, I have been following through with my 100 days dancing, but difficult to record all the dancing with no proper equipement. But I promise to publish the dances I have been dancing these days. I am not a flake! I will not let me down.

Well this situation reminded me of a funny song Flake from Jack Johnson (Brushfire Fairytales 2001). Have you ever met, worked  or lived with a flake, a unreliable person? Someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through?
Well, alas this past month I met so many flakes... people who say something, like they will do the research for your project, but they have not done a thing. Or worse, people who said they will pay you for the work you did, and then they don't give a full paycheck. Somehow flakes let you down, they want to pass, take advantage and get ahead of other people, by filling their words with empty promises, worse yet by lying....

Well, the problem with flakes is that the words they speak is not based on right speech,  right view or right thinking. Something there in their minds just is not connect to mindfulness either.

I am no saying that flakes can't have Right Speech, the problem is that right speech is not as simple as it looks. And meditating on the Right Speech  depends on practicing right view, and right thinking. Because speaking is putting a megaphone on our thoughts, and showing our views.... right speech is next in line for healing our sufferings....

"Sometimes, when there are blocks of suffering in us, they may manifest as speech (or actions) without gooing through the medium of thought. Our suffering has built up and can no longer be repressed, especially when we have not been practicing mindfulness, because we may not know what is building up inside us. Then we say or write things we did not want to say, that even can hurt others, and we don't know where our words came from."(Thich Nhat Hanh  1998)

When we are expressing our suffering without meditating on mindfulness, acceptance, right view, right thinking, we can harm us and other people as well.  When our thoughts leave our minds in form of speech, if we are mindful, we know what we are saying and whether is creating peace or war around us.
What is Right Speech? According to The Heart of Buddha 's teaching:
1. Speaking truthfully, not being a flake - red is red, a flower is not a chapel, no empty promises
2. Be loyal to the truth - do not say something to one person then another thing to other.
3. Do not speak cruelly to people or other beings - do not curse, encourage suffering or create hatred on others...
4.  Speak with right view - not making bigger or smaller, more dramtic than it is.

In a conversation, like this one in this blog, friends and people who enjoys it are my listeners! We also need a listener, for sure that listening is important, but in Hinduism and Buddhism, compassionate listening becomes the foundation of Right Speech, compassionate listening brings about healing. Compassioante listening nourish speaker and listener. So thank you for listening, you are helping me to unlock my suffering in a midful way.

So today, I tried to work on Right Speech and compassionate listening, in this practice, let's pay attention to listening without judging or reacting, because when someone speaking to us feels we are critical of what they are saying, their suffering will not be relieved. let's remember that when we are dealing with flakes...

Namaste


"Flake"

I know she said it’s alright
But you can make it up next time
I know she knows it’s not right
There ain’t no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe maybe she thinks its fine
Maybe she knows something I don’t
I’m so, I’m so tired, I’m so tired of trying
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don’t tell me you might just let it go
And often times we’re lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
I know she loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes
And I know that when she said she’s gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn’t want to break ‘em, nah, I wouldn’t want to break ‘em
Maybe she’ll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I’m gonna have to lie too
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don’t tell me you might just let it go
And often times we’re lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don’t tell me you might just let it go
The harder that you try baby, the further you’ll fall
Even with all the money in the whole wide world
Please please please don’t pass me
Please please please don’t pass me
Please please please don’t pass me by
Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change
You gonna have to call it by a brand new name
Please please please don’t drag me
Please please please don’t drag me
Please please please don’t drag me down
Just like a tree down by the water baby I shall not move
Even after all the silly things you do
Please please please don’t drag me
Please please please don’t drag me
Please please please don’t drag me down