Day 6 - Right Speech and compassionate listening - Flake - Brushfire Fairytale (2001)

Dear friend,
you might be wondering where is the dance? Too much writing, no dancing?
Nope, I have been following through with my 100 days dancing, but difficult to record all the dancing with no proper equipement. But I promise to publish the dances I have been dancing these days. I am not a flake! I will not let me down.

Well this situation reminded me of a funny song Flake from Jack Johnson (Brushfire Fairytales 2001). Have you ever met, worked  or lived with a flake, a unreliable person? Someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through?
Well, alas this past month I met so many flakes... people who say something, like they will do the research for your project, but they have not done a thing. Or worse, people who said they will pay you for the work you did, and then they don't give a full paycheck. Somehow flakes let you down, they want to pass, take advantage and get ahead of other people, by filling their words with empty promises, worse yet by lying....

Well, the problem with flakes is that the words they speak is not based on right speech,  right view or right thinking. Something there in their minds just is not connect to mindfulness either.

I am no saying that flakes can't have Right Speech, the problem is that right speech is not as simple as it looks. And meditating on the Right Speech  depends on practicing right view, and right thinking. Because speaking is putting a megaphone on our thoughts, and showing our views.... right speech is next in line for healing our sufferings....

"Sometimes, when there are blocks of suffering in us, they may manifest as speech (or actions) without gooing through the medium of thought. Our suffering has built up and can no longer be repressed, especially when we have not been practicing mindfulness, because we may not know what is building up inside us. Then we say or write things we did not want to say, that even can hurt others, and we don't know where our words came from."(Thich Nhat Hanh  1998)

When we are expressing our suffering without meditating on mindfulness, acceptance, right view, right thinking, we can harm us and other people as well.  When our thoughts leave our minds in form of speech, if we are mindful, we know what we are saying and whether is creating peace or war around us.
What is Right Speech? According to The Heart of Buddha 's teaching:
1. Speaking truthfully, not being a flake - red is red, a flower is not a chapel, no empty promises
2. Be loyal to the truth - do not say something to one person then another thing to other.
3. Do not speak cruelly to people or other beings - do not curse, encourage suffering or create hatred on others...
4.  Speak with right view - not making bigger or smaller, more dramtic than it is.

In a conversation, like this one in this blog, friends and people who enjoys it are my listeners! We also need a listener, for sure that listening is important, but in Hinduism and Buddhism, compassionate listening becomes the foundation of Right Speech, compassionate listening brings about healing. Compassioante listening nourish speaker and listener. So thank you for listening, you are helping me to unlock my suffering in a midful way.

So today, I tried to work on Right Speech and compassionate listening, in this practice, let's pay attention to listening without judging or reacting, because when someone speaking to us feels we are critical of what they are saying, their suffering will not be relieved. let's remember that when we are dealing with flakes...

Namaste


"Flake"

I know she said it’s alright
But you can make it up next time
I know she knows it’s not right
There ain’t no use in lying
Maybe she thinks I know something
Maybe maybe she thinks its fine
Maybe she knows something I don’t
I’m so, I’m so tired, I’m so tired of trying
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don’t tell me you might just let it go
And often times we’re lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
I know she loves the sunrise
No longer sees it with her sleeping eyes
And I know that when she said she’s gonna try
Well it might not work because of other ties and
I know she usually has some other ties
And I wouldn’t want to break ‘em, nah, I wouldn’t want to break ‘em
Maybe she’ll help me to untie this but
Until then well, I’m gonna have to lie too
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don’t tell me you might just let it go
And often times we’re lazy
It seems to stand in my way
Cause no one no not no one
Likes to be let down
It seems to me that maybe
It pretty much always means no
So don’t tell me you might just let it go
The harder that you try baby, the further you’ll fall
Even with all the money in the whole wide world
Please please please don’t pass me
Please please please don’t pass me
Please please please don’t pass me by
Everything you know about me now baby you gonna have to change
You gonna have to call it by a brand new name
Please please please don’t drag me
Please please please don’t drag me
Please please please don’t drag me down
Just like a tree down by the water baby I shall not move
Even after all the silly things you do
Please please please don’t drag me
Please please please don’t drag me
Please please please don’t drag me down