Day 8 - Attachment-free bark - Breakdown (2005)

Hello my friends,

I could not write nor dance yesterday because my routine was interrupted by the fact that my younger stepson had a surgery and all the efforts were to care for my family, and at the end of the day I went to bed earlier.  Today I realized that even for my meditation, I can't be attached to a rigid routine. I am going through some changes, and attachment is something I am working on on my meditation practice.

Sometimes we walk in circles in life, attached to our routine, our fears of loosing our material stability, or attached to our energy habits, our fear of loosing friends and family,  and to unwholesome feelings and thoughts.

I am feeling that today my meditation is on attachment-free mind and body in order to get insights on which decisions to make to breakdown this moment, be free and initiate this new path.

Where we live there is a creek with crystal clear water and a small waterfall, and some pools and rapids surrounded by lush vegetation and rocks, a small sanctuary. Every Sunday, loads of people come to bathe and enjoy this beautiful scenery right down my backyard. I wish I could be there everyday to drink from the peace and beauty this place brings.

In the middle of this morning, I sat quietly on a rock, with my feet touching the  cold water in a small rapid with little swhirlpool.
Meditating on the body, feeling relaxed, the sun spreading its heat on my skin, face, torso, arms, legs and feet. Breathing calmly, felt the fresh early morning air  circulating in my lungs being pushed into my veins and spreading its energy through my whole body. From my hair to my toes...

Before ending the meditation, I observed the river, and had small insights with a tree bark trapped by a swhirlpool.
Free bark, free!
There was a small tree bark on the river floating and going in circles, round and round inside a gentle swhirlpool.  Floating, and trying to continue its jouney downstream, this bark was too light to fight against this countercurrent.

Sometimes life is like that. We want to move on with our lives, but what happens instead is that we are going in circles, carried by invisible barriers. How can we overcome this roundabout?

I was not sure how long this bark was enjoying the going in circles, but I decided to help, maybe it is time to give it a hand. I created a space in the water that broke the counter current and momentarily the swhirlpool was open and the bark floated downstream by a small water tunnel, until another counter current forced it to move towards the rocks, the path of lowest velocity, then there the bark gazed its past experience and future journey, as ifit had to stop, surrender and contemplate its bark life.
In few seconds of contemplation, it surrended to the path of least resistance and floated away into the strong currents downstream towards the waterfall.
This small movement  of stopping and gazing is a metaphor of our lives, we all need an external hand to help us when we need to decide to stop and break down our vicious circles, leaving behind our fears and gaze the possibilites in our present moment. Without this hand, a pause and surrender it is hard to leave behind our past, let things go and just float with downstream currents of our destiny...

Another meditation on my perception changed then on countercurrents and barriers: the cause of one my sufferings, holding me back. The cause of my suffering is that I used to see that I had something I lost. My suffering is to loose people and things, all the old train that gives me stability...
If I want to leave behind this suffering swhirlpool of attachments, I need to change my perception on grasping things. Instead, I realized that if nothing belongs to me, they are only sharing time with me, therefore I have no need to fear loosing what is not mine. if the bark has nothing attached to it, to breakdown the currents and floate away is natural.
Can we  try to be a free bark?

Let's hold this moment in our hands and dance breakdown...
floating with and like a river...



 "Breakdown"

I hope this old train breaks down then I could take a walk around 

See what there is to see, time is just a melody 

With all the people in the street walking fast as their feet 

Can take them, I just roll through town 

And though my window’s got a view, well the frame I’m looking through 

Seems to have no concern for now 

So for now I 


I need this here old train to breakdown 

Oh please just let me please just breakdown 


Well this engine screams out loud, centipede going to crawl westbound 

So I don’t even make a sound cause it’s going to sting me when I leave this town 

And all the people in the street that I’ll never get to meet 

If these tracks don’t bend somehow 

And I got no time that I got to get to where I don’t need to be 

So I 


I need this here old train to breakdown 

Oh please just let me please just breakdown 


I want to break on down 

But I can’t stop now 

Let me break on down 


But you can’t stop nothing if you got no control 

Of the thoughts in your mind that you kept and you know 

That you don’t know nothing but you don’t need to know 

The wisdom’s in the trees not the glass windows 

You can’t stop wishing if you don’t let go 

Of the things that you find and you lose and you know 

You keep on rolling, put the moment on hold 

Because the frame’s too bright, so put the blinds down low 


I need this here old train to breakdown 

Oh please just let me please just breakdown 


I got to break on down 

But I can’t stop now